Hi, I'm Bekka! 🙂
Thanks so much for stopping by RelationshipFruit .com! As someone who struggled with men and relationships for quite some years I’m happy to say that my current long-term relationship could not possibly be any better! Slowly but surely this website is becoming the embodiment of everything I’ve learnt and studied over the years to improve myself and understand those crazy (and lovable!) creatures called men. Please make yourself at home, check out my articles to learn from my mistakes, and connect with me anytime in the comments 😘
“Talk dirty to me babe…”
Learning how to talk dirty to a guy can be daunting especially if you’re not a natural at it.
Some women seem to have the innate ability to be sultry and seductive with their words in an effortless way that wraps men around their little finger.
I realised some years ago that quite a number of men do actually like dirty talk and that it’s an absolutely fantastic way to build up the sexual tension.
So being that I wasn’t one that talking dirty came easy to I set myself the task of mastering the art of dirty talk in way that stopped short of being overly vulgar and kept it classy, but certainly turned up the heat to a super high setting for more fulfilling sex.
Before I get into the specific wording and phrases I typically would use, let’s have a look at some flirty dirty talk concepts so you’ll be better prepared to confidently use the right talk-dirty examples at the right time.
How To Talk Dirty To A Guy, With USABLE Examples
What Is Dirty Talk And Why Do Men Love It
Dirty talk can be defined as the practice of using graphic word imagery to heighten sexual pleasure before and during sexual intercourse.
It is commonly a part of foreplay. Dirty talk can include vivid erotic descriptions, sexual humor, sexual commands and rude words.
Men typically love it when their girl talks dirty to them for a number of reasons:
Having outlined the reasons why you guy will love some occasional dirty talk, I would be remiss if I didn’t clearly state that some guys won’t be on board with it. You can either ask your partner outright if this is the case, although this can be a huge mood killer so you must time it right. If you must ask then do it during a time that sex isn’t on the cards at that particular moment. A better approach is to simply ease into talking dirty with your guy in a more subtle and playful manner that can more easily be brushed off if it doesn’t go down well. We’ll cover how to do this in the easy beginner examples to warm up with later in the article. Beyond the reasons why he’ll love the dirty talking You, there is another reason that it’s a great thing to incorporate into your relationship, regardless of what stage it’s at (assuming of course that you’re already having sex). A little dirty talk here and there, if used shrewdly in a situation that doesn’t lead to sex, will have him constantly thinking about you and missing you until you’re together again. This is an exceptionally good thing for relationships and should be encouraged whenever possible.
Does Your Man Even Want You To Talk Dirty
Why Should You Talk Dirty To Your Partner
Having outlined the reasons why you guy will love some occasional dirty talk, I would be remiss if I didn’t clearly state that some guys won’t be on board with it.
You can either ask your partner outright if this is the case, although this can be a huge mood killer so you must time it right.
If you must ask then do it during a time that sex isn’t on the cards at that particular moment.
A better approach is to simply ease into talking dirty with your guy in a more subtle and playful manner that can more easily be brushed off if it doesn’t go down well.
We’ll cover how to do this in the easy beginner examples to warm up with later in the article.
Beyond the reasons why he’ll love the dirty talking You, there is another reason that it’s a great thing to incorporate into your relationship, regardless of what stage it’s at (assuming of course that you’re already having sex).
A little dirty talk here and there, if used shrewdly in a situation that doesn’t lead to sex, will have him constantly thinking about you and missing you until you’re together again.
This is an exceptionally good thing for relationships and should be encouraged whenever possible.
How Do You Incorporate Talking Dirty Into Your Relationship
First of all the relationship must be put into context, and in this article I’m assuming that you’re already in a sexual relationship with your man.
If talking dirty to a guy is something new to you then you’ll want to start with a comment that’s fairly tame until you’re more confident.
Or if you’re already confident it best to keep it as tame as you feel you need to depending on the man on the receiving end, as you may not be fully aware of how he’ll respond.
It should not contain any profanity, as sexual innuendo can be accomplished quite easily without it.
Keep it reasonably casual and almost like a passing thought that you’re sharing with him.
By taking the subtle approach like this you’ll catch him slightly off guard but you won’t shock him to the point of being uncomfortable which is always to be avoided.
Additionally, if he’s not one who’s into dirty talk and sexy innuendo (as highly unlikely as that is… 😉) then you’ll be able to brush it off or laugh it off so much easier if you keep it tame and not too full on.
How To Talk Dirty To A Guy – The Delivery
So you’re ready to test the waters talking dirty to a guy, excellent!
Before you do, let’s cover off a few things about the delivery as a lot of the effect of talking dirty is in how you say it, not only the words you’re saying.
Talk Like You Just Met
Remember when you first met your partner (or any past partner if your current relationship is new) and had your first dates, conversation was easy and you clicked well, there was lots of laughter, flirting, and you had each other’s undivided attention.
Think back specifically to those times where there was flirting involved, and that’s the mindset you want to begin with when you start talking dirty.
Playful, flirty, good natured and with full attention given to your guy.
Tone Of Voice
Your tone of voice plays a huge part in effective dirty talk.
Keep your voice a slightly lower in tone that your normal speaking voice and a little softer at the same time.
A sultry tone such as this will infer a seductive meaning to what you’re saying.
This of course works fine before sex, but during sex it’s likely going to come out reasonably breathless and higher pitched whether you mean it to or not.
This is absolutely fine and in fact is better than keeping your voice low and sultry, as the higher pitched breathless voice is more in keeping with great sex.
Cadence Of Voice
The cadence of your voice refers to the speed you speak.
Speaking slowly is another way to increase the seduction level of what you’re saying, and while speaking a slower it also helps to sound just slightly breathless if at all possible.
Don’t be afraid to practice this on your own so that when it comes time to do the dirty talk you’re already versed for the most part in how you’ll deliver it.
Just make sure you’re not in ear shot of anyone while you practice! 😮
Body language matters during the delivery of your dirty talk.
A sideways look over your shoulder, biting your lip, generally moving a little more slowly and deliberately can all be ways to increase the seductiveness while talking dirty.
These little body language movements will be dependent on what you’re comfortable with and confident doing, and again, practice them in private so that you can deliver them smoothly when the time comes.
The likelihood is though, that when the time comes you’ll be able to read the situation fairly well and what you do will come fairly naturally.
And as soon as your man responds positively you’ll shift straight into confidence mode and everything will flow much more naturally from this point on.
The details make the dirty talk.
For example, it’s fine to say, “I’m so turned on by you right now…”, but it gets that much more raunchy as soon as you add in some additional descriptive terms such as, “I’m so turned on looking at that bulge in your pants right now…”
Regardless of whether that’s a phrase you would use or not, the descriptive emphasis makes it clear that describing the details can very much increase the ‘heat’ in what you say.
Don’t be afraid to get overly imaginative once you gain confidence either as it can really increase the quality and outcome of your dirty talk.
Men often love guidance and direction during sex as it can take the pressure off them having to figure everything out on their own.
But additionally, giving descriptive directions to your guy about specifically what you want done to you is a sure fire recipe for turning him on.
A direction type example that leads on from the last example above could be, “I want you naked on the bed now so that I can spend some time between your legs…”.
Ask And Learn
If you’re still hesitant to talk dirty during sex, you can turn your dirty talk into a question that will almost always be well accepted.
An example is, “Do you like what I’m doing to your [body part] right now…?”
If you get a little descriptive with it it’ll likely turn him on more, and if it’s something he wants changed a little he’s got the opportunity to tell you how you can make it even better.
It’s win/win for everyone!
Catch Him Off Guard
An excellent way to increase the sexual tension and intrigue of talking dirty is to catch him off guard with your comment so that he’s just a little unsettled, but in a good way.
The out-of-the-blue change in showing sexual enthusiasm for him when he’s least expecting it will magnify the response he’ll give you in return.
Don’t turn up the heat too quickly out of the blue however it may push him into an uncomfortable place.
Build It Up, But Don’t Rush It
Start it slow and easy until you know how he reacts to the dirty talking You, as you don’t want to set yourself up to fail.
Once you know he’s into it you can build it up with more and more innuendo and sexual tension.
Things can heat up quickly but try to keep it paced out without rushing so that the tension can be heightened as much as possible.
Remember that this is an intimate experience for you both and to an extent should be savoured for as long as you can keep your hands off each other.
Start With Talking Dirty Text Messages Until You’re Confident
If you’re not overly confident talking dirty in person an excellent way to break the dirty-talk ice is to use text messages and see how your partner responds.
You may also find that this is actually more comfortable for him as well.
How To Talk Dirty To A Guy Examples
Easy Beginner Talk Dirty Examples To Warm Up With
These examples are not too graphic so are less likely to have your guy uncomfortably taken aback by them.
They’re great to use while you’re getting used to using dirty talk with each other and you should feel free to change and adapt them to your own style.
And remember, if there’s a body part of yours he really likes or a sex act that he particular enjoys then make sure you include it prominently in your dirty talk.
The reference [x] denotes a body part or sex act of some description (which will depend on what you’re doing!).
1. “So what do you feel like doing to me…?”
2. “Just looking at you in those boxers turns me on…”
3. “Undress me.”
4. “I’ve been thinking long and hard about what I’m going to do to you tonight…”
5. “I’m not wearing any underwear…”
6. “Stand right there, I’m going to slowly undress you…”
7. “How does it feel when I do this…?”
8. “I like it when you do it like that…”
9. “Go deeper…”
10. “Can you imagine doing this to me the very first time we met?”
11. “I’ve been waiting for this all day…
12. “Do you want me to do [X] for you…?”
More Advanced Dirty Talk Examples, Before Sex (saying what you want, or want to do)
13. “Tell me where you want to touch me first.” *get naked and stand in front of him*
14. “Get on your knees…”
15. “I want you naked on the bed now so that I can spend some time between your legs…”
16. “I want to taste you baby…”
17. “I want you inside me right now!”
18. “Where do you want to touch me first…?”
19. “I want you to have your way with me… NOW.”
20. “Fuck me, NOW.“
21. “Just lie back, relax, and let me make you c*m…”
22. “I want you to f*ck me until we wake the neighbours…”
23. “I can’t wait for you to be inside me…”
24. “I want you to touch me right here…” *guide his hand to the spot*
25. “I have to ride you… f*cking NOW.”
More Advanced Dirty Talk Examples, During Sex (saying what you like)
26. “How does it feel when I [x]…?”
27. “F*ck you feel good in me…”
28. “How about I get on top and ride you for a bit…?”
29. “Oh yeah c*m inside me…”
30. “Oh yeah cum on my [x]
31. “F*ck I love it when you take control…”
32. “I want you to f*ck me in front of the mirror baby…”
33. “Pull my hair and f*ck me!”
If And When To Use Profanity During Dirty Talk
Profanity, or swearing, is often very easily dismissed as totally acceptable during sex.
If this is the case for you then using profanity at the correct time, which is typically during sex or immediately before it, is quite acceptable.
However there is certainly no rule that profanity must be incorporated.
So if you or your guy are sensitive to such things then leave the swear words out entirely and adjust your dirty talk to suit, it will still remain super effective.
Additionally, leave the profanity out until things start to heat up as using these words too early can sometimes make things a little uncomfortable unless you’re very in tune with what your partner specifically likes.
If you’re unsure, simply ask him. It’s a sign of respect, and the question itself could even lead to dirty talk immediately after.
Dirty Talk To Avoid
Make sure you draw the line quite strictly between dirty talk and trash talk, unless you are 101% sure that your partner wants it.
With this in mind, avoid defamatory words such as whore, slut, possibly bitch, etc.
Don’t ever be degrading by making a comment about a man’s body parts or performance that he could misconstrue as a slight against him, even if that wasn’t your intention.
Avoid scientific terms! It’s almost impossible to turn anyone on (including yourself!) using the words penis and vagina.
If this article has whet your appetite and you want even more amazing techniques for how to make a man yours and have him wanting You and ONLY You, check out our review of the unbelievable Language of Desire program by clicking here. You’ll be glad you did!
And fair warning, while this powerful program might be suited for women of all confidence levels, even if you’re a ‘good girl’ it will soon have you a seasoned seduction expert!
Are you a seasoned dirty talker? Do you have any additional super-hot dirty-talking tips for our readers? Join the conversation below in the comments section.
All the best in life, love and happiness – Bekka