How can I get my ex boyfriend back, and does no contact truly work or should I speak to him?
While nothing is guaranteed, there is absolutely a tried and tested Game Plan that you can use which will give you the best possible chance of getting your ex-boyfriend back. I know this to be true because I’ve done it successfully myself and can vouch for this approach.
I’ll discuss when to contact him, but before we touch on that it’s vital that you do some quick prep-work to ensure you can both move forward as strongly as possible.
Here’s the process in ‘3’ steps:
1. Assess The Original Relationship To Fix Future Problems
While renewing the attraction he feels for you is paramount it must be put to the side while you assess fully and honestly with your yourself why the relationship ended in the first place.
I’m reading between the lines here a little but from what you’ve written it appears that he may just be worried about the hot and cold nature of your approach to the relationship, and requires a more ‘level’ approach.
None the less, it seems that your own insecurity from problems past has been a large contributing factor, although you should also take the time to assess everything that happened and see if there were any other factors which contributed.
Even if it seems minor, note down any problem areas.
If they were something he did, find a way to move past them. If they were things you did, resolve to discuss them openly and apologize if required, and find ways to ensure that you don’t repeat those problem points.
In doing this part of the process you’ll be able to have much more constructive relationship moving forward that’s free of the problems that plagued the past, and importantly, not suffer a repeat of what happened prior.
2. Present Your Best Self To Super-Boost Your Chance Of Relationship Success
At one point you were the woman he truly wanted and he was attracted to you for a number of reasons, physically, intellectually and emotionally.
However at some point these reasons were allowed to go askew and the attraction weakened sufficiently for him to leave. Telling him you love him at this point is somewhat irrelevant as that doesn’t increase attraction as such.
Think about what attracted him to you in the first place.
If it was a certain look then work on freshening that look up.
If it was something about your mind, interests or ambitions, then bring them back to the forefront of your life (e.g. if he loved the fact that you were active, try posting pictures of you being active on social media where you know he’ll see it).
If it was something emotional, be it your caring nature for example or perhaps compassion to others, then bring these aspects to the fore (sometimes easier said than done, and in reality initial attraction will likely be a factor of physical and intellectual attributes anyway).
3. Make Contact And Then Build Attraction Through Specific Interactions To Make Him Want You Back
Now comes the time to make contact, and this is very specific to your own personal situation. It’s unlikely that myself nor anyone else can tell you with exact certainly when to contact him.
If you leave it too long he’ll think you’ve genuinely given up, and if you do it too soon he’ll feel pressured.
A friend of mine who recently got back with her boyfriend texted him about ten days after their breakup to say she just remembered a funny experience they had together and it made her laugh and think of him.
She was extremely casual about it and went on to suggested that they could be friends as there was no animosity between them, they had similar interests and could enjoy a laugh with each other once in a while.
Soon after, playing it very casual again, she organised to go to lunch with him and things slowly started to heat up again from there.
Only ‘You’ can determine exactly when to contact him, and I suggest you approach it in the casual way that is mentioned above (or something similar) which is very non-confrontational and un-pressuring.
Once you’re on speaking terms again you should ensure you’re presenting your best side at all times, and really emphasise subtly all of the things that originally attracted him to you.
Ensure that you do not come across as desperate, don’t bring up your relationship initially, and spend a couple of outings just hanging out and having a laugh.
Resist the urge to communicate too much and give him his space. Before long your instinct will tell you when it’s the right time to bring up past problems and how you’ve improved yourself, and the discussion of actually going on a formal date again can be brought up.
If you need more detailed information and advice on this topic, and once you’re on speaking terms with your ex ,you can check out an article I wrote for how to turn your ex boyfriend back into your current boyfriend here, it outlines the entire process in a lot more detail for you.
All the very best of luck with your ex, it sounds like you don’t have anything too insurmountable to get over and I hope it works out perfectly for you!
Check out our review of The Ex Factor Guide which outlines absolutely every step of the process of getting your ex back as fast as possible and with the highest chance of success.
Comes highly recommended by the RelationshipFruit team!
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Hi, I'm Bekka! 🙂
Thanks so much for stopping by RelationshipFruit .com! As someone who struggled with men and relationships for quite some years I’m happy to say that my current long-term relationship could not possibly be any better! Slowly but surely this website is becoming the embodiment of everything I’ve learnt and studied over the years to improve myself and understand those crazy (and lovable!) creatures called men. Please make yourself at home, check out my articles to learn from my mistakes, and connect with me anytime in the comments 😘